I do love being a mom

Being a mom is awesome. My own mom asked me what the biggest surprise was in becoming a parent, and I told her, "It is easier than I thought it would be." Part of that is Alexandra's temperament, part of it is having so much time to prepare, and part of it is dumb luck. I'll happily enjoy it for however long it lasts. As I mentioned in my last post, there are certainly challenges ... but I was really bracing myself for this experience to be a gruelling one. Instead, most days it's just divine.



I love interacting with Alexandra. Just holding her on my lap and watching her explore her surroundings is a joy. She watches the cats with great intensity, and she often breaks out into fits of giggles or just the funniest sounds ... which sets ME to laughing.



I don't know how long this streak will last. I'm sure at some point she'll just drive me crazy, but for now, all I can say is that this is just awesome. She's so amazing that sometimes even though she's sound asleep, I just want to go into her room, pick her up & cuddle her -- maybe even wake her up to play! I don't, though, because I know it's a Bad Idea (TM) ... but sometimes I will sneak in and just watch her sleep.

I love her so much.

Challenges of parenting

Don't get me wrong -- Alexandra's an angel! But I am still facing challenges that I doubt are unique.

Challenge #1: Just how much do you need that nap, really?
It's hard for me gauge if she'll go to pieces without a nap. Some times an interrupted nap results in no problem whatsoever, sometimes (although not often) it turns into an hour of overtired little girl, crying & hiccuping & turning all red in the face. At times like that I feel a little responsible -- but because she's so easy-going, and it happens so rarely, I'm loathe to let her nap whenever she seems a bit tired.

Challenge #2: So, these things called "plans" are really more "guidelines", then?
She can go to the gym with me now ... but often my small windows of time (time I'm not working and time the kid care place is open) to actually get there are blocked by other things - arrival of a crib (a kind gift for which I am truly grateful), the need for her to nap or to have some food, the sudden onslaught of a downpour (my car is not safe to drive in the rain) - and the net result is that today makes my 4th attempt to get to the gym in 4 days - and it's not happening. Heck, today I was so bound-and-determined that I had a plan A and a plan B. Both failed. *sigh*

Challenge #3: Okay there is no challenge #3.

That's why I am loathe to lodge a complaint at all. Really, Alexandra is something special. I think it's just integral to the whole being-a-parent thing that it's hard to make it all work when one of us can't fend for herself in the slightest. I was toying with the idea of doing a workout at home while she sleeps (that's why I've got the time now to blog) ... but after rearranging furniture in her room & wrestling with a crib mattress three times (turns out 2 of the hand-me-down sheet sets I was given are the wrong size), and walking all around the house with her to jiggle her and to dance to and to soothe - I am just exhausted. I know I'm not doing much cardio - and my weight is back up at its all-time high (where it's been since about the time she was born) -- but man. I am tired.

I'm pretty good at bending & flexing ... and I thought that would be enough to get to the gym, but it's still not working, even after 4 weeks of trying really hard to make it work. How many fresh starts do I get? I could ask more experienced parents how they handle it ... but I'm pretty certain of the response: Just do what you can, be kind to yourself, and know that in time it'll get easier as she can do more things for herself (with the notable corollary that there will be different challenges then.) Right?

Five months old

Hard to believe in some ways, but Alexandra is five months old. And yes, I took a picture of her wearing a giant flowery Hello Kitty headband and a Hello Kitty tutu outfit, both of them purple. I mean when else am I going to be able to get away with this stuff? I am not the most fashionable of people ... but I'd rather get tons of photos of her in a variety of outfits & when she's older, she can decide for herself which ones are blackmail material and which ones demonstrate her inner cuteness.