Thursday, August 25, 2011

Challenges of parenting

Don't get me wrong -- Alexandra's an angel! But I am still facing challenges that I doubt are unique.

Challenge #1: Just how much do you need that nap, really?
It's hard for me gauge if she'll go to pieces without a nap. Some times an interrupted nap results in no problem whatsoever, sometimes (although not often) it turns into an hour of overtired little girl, crying & hiccuping & turning all red in the face. At times like that I feel a little responsible -- but because she's so easy-going, and it happens so rarely, I'm loathe to let her nap whenever she seems a bit tired.

Challenge #2: So, these things called "plans" are really more "guidelines", then?
She can go to the gym with me now ... but often my small windows of time (time I'm not working and time the kid care place is open) to actually get there are blocked by other things - arrival of a crib (a kind gift for which I am truly grateful), the need for her to nap or to have some food, the sudden onslaught of a downpour (my car is not safe to drive in the rain) - and the net result is that today makes my 4th attempt to get to the gym in 4 days - and it's not happening. Heck, today I was so bound-and-determined that I had a plan A and a plan B. Both failed. *sigh*

Challenge #3: Okay there is no challenge #3.

That's why I am loathe to lodge a complaint at all. Really, Alexandra is something special. I think it's just integral to the whole being-a-parent thing that it's hard to make it all work when one of us can't fend for herself in the slightest. I was toying with the idea of doing a workout at home while she sleeps (that's why I've got the time now to blog) ... but after rearranging furniture in her room & wrestling with a crib mattress three times (turns out 2 of the hand-me-down sheet sets I was given are the wrong size), and walking all around the house with her to jiggle her and to dance to and to soothe - I am just exhausted. I know I'm not doing much cardio - and my weight is back up at its all-time high (where it's been since about the time she was born) -- but man. I am tired.

I'm pretty good at bending & flexing ... and I thought that would be enough to get to the gym, but it's still not working, even after 4 weeks of trying really hard to make it work. How many fresh starts do I get? I could ask more experienced parents how they handle it ... but I'm pretty certain of the response: Just do what you can, be kind to yourself, and know that in time it'll get easier as she can do more things for herself (with the notable corollary that there will be different challenges then.) Right?


theelfqueen said...

You're right. The answer... almost always the answer with kids - is Time. Give it some time, try to adjust to what you've got (an evening stroller/sling walk?) and know that as time goes by, this challenge will improve, but another will come along to take its place.

Ooh do you have an XBox??? We could do Kinect together!

There's this fantastic book (focused on older children) about sleep - it's not a sleep training book or a cosleeping book or a how to get your child to sleep the way you want in any way book... called Sleepless in America. Very readable, informative and full of good info! In the meantime - check out "Sleeping through the Night and Other Lies" - just for a laugh.

Kat said...

It's soo nice to see you talk about Alexandra and her developments, hun, specially after all you've been through to have her. :)

And while you're a bit ahead of my girls' development - I can only sympathize, there are things I wish I'd have a hand book for them. :) Looking forward to seeing more of your updates & photos. :)

Mel said...


Things will get different.
The elfqueen said it. There are always challenges and always growth opportunities--for her and for you.

There are two parents here and asking for a break and for help IS allowed, dontchaknow.

Schedule 'me' time and let the honey be the dad he is, eh? Cuz ME time is pretty essential. This is why Nana gets the bug for a weekend a month. Good for mom and dad, good for bug......excellent for Nana! :-D

You're doing just fine.....and you're discovering a nap isn't always required in the day of the babe--tis true! They flip flop around just like we do.
Oh, wait til you reach TWO! LOL

FIND those 'get the babe for the whole weekend' folks, you'll appreciate that MORE than you know!! ;-)

TWO happens. LOL Lay the groundwork now! ;-)