Thursday, November 14, 2013

"with only you, Mommy."

I had a couple of really moving experiences today, and since it felt really good to write about my Grandma's Chocolate-Mint Squares, I thought I'd write about today.

I don't usually give Alexandra much advance warning of fun outings, because she has a keen memory & if I need to change plans due to unforeseen circumstances, it's hard for her to understand. So, although I'd arranged my calendar today to be completely open after noon, with hopes of going to the zoo, I didn't mention it. 

When I was getting her dressed this morning and giving her a run down of the first half of the day, including going to lunch with a friend, she said, "No, Mommy. I don' wan' see Carrie wunts*." I was really surprised, because she's usually excited to see Carrie, whom we see every 4-6 weeks. I explained that we'd promised Carrie to see her & that it would be nice to see her. She said clearly, "Nope. I wan' have wunts wif on'y you, Mommy." (Is your heart warmed, yet? Because that was just a warm fuzzy moment for me.)

*wunts = lunch

I reiterated that we'd have lunch with Carrie, but then I whispered to her, "But after lunch ... we're going to the zoo!" Her eyes got huge (you'd think that she hasn't been to the zoo every week for the last 4 weeks) and she whispered back, "The zoo?" I nodded and smiled. "Wif you, an' on'y you?" I smiled and said, "Yes, just you and me."

So that's the first one ... and you ready for the next one? It's a doozy.

In the car, one of the many Disney songs we have is "Wishes," from the fireworks show at Walt Disney World. It started up & Alexandra, is often her wont, said "What IS this song?" which is my cue to pause it and give her a title and see if that's all she wanted to know, because often it's the first question of many. I told her "It's Wishes." She replied, "It fire-wooks?" I said, "Yes, it's from the fireworks show at Disney World." My eyes welled up, because it's a special song for me -- and you're about to find out why. I then said, "This song sometimes makes me cry, but they're happy tears." She, predictably, said "why happy tears, Mommy?"

I explained to her that before she was born, when I wanted to be a mommy and Daddy wanted to be a daddy, but that we didn't know if we'd be parents, we had been waiting a really long time, and we were sad. We went to Disney World and saw the Wishes fireworks show, and the song and the story said to always believe in your dreams. I told her that we'd both felt really sad then, because we were not parents, and we didn't know if we'd ever be. I said that we wished very hard that night, even though we were still sad, and a few months later, her birthmother called us and said she'd picked us to be Alexandra's parents. I told her that we saw the Wishes show again when she was a tiny baby, and when we saw it, it made me cry because I realized my wish had come true, and I was her mommy.

She responded as she often does when a tale has captured her attention, saying "Again," which means she wants the story repeated. So, with a few more tears, I retold the tale. I ended it saying, "So right now I have some tears in my eyes, but they are happy tears because I am so happy I'm your mommy."

Her response? "It okay, Mommy. I here now."


Jason said...

Geez, Susanne. Now I've got something in my eye. Again.

Jason said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kel said...

Oh my goodness! That is just the best. And given that I've been reading your blog for a looong time it iabsolutely fills my heart to hear this story! having seen it all happening along the way.

Mel said...

OMG...I join the rest of the tearful. It was such a painful but worthwhile journey. You're all sooo graced to have each other.