Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Adoption process: one step foward, one step back

We had our official home inspection today, which went very differently than I had expected. First of all, I really expected her to go from room to room. Secondly, I expected it to take much less time than it actually did. Third, I thought we would pass! Fourth, I thought our profile would go "live" within a matter of days.

Here's how it went: She inspected our backyard & we had a conversation about the bogland that's behind us that right now looks like a substantial lake, but that's just because of all the recent snowmelt & the rain we've had today. It turns out that if we have a "water hazard" nearby that she has to fill out different forms. We assured her that it looks like that only at this time of year, and pointed out how the backyard also has pools of standing water, which are not a regular feature. So, we cleared that hurdle.

She then sat down in our living room & asked us to verify certain facts & sign off on sheets saying that we authorized the agency to share our profile. Seemed a bit silly ... why else would we make a profile for birthmoms to look at it if we didn't want them to see it? Anyway, we made that official, and we initialled a different form attesting to the fact that we have no firearms in the house, that the water is safe & clean, and other minutia. She didn't say a word about the swords on our walls either (that note is for all of my buddies who wondered if I should take 'em off the walls or leave them ... we left them up & it created no problems at all!). She also walked through different features of adoption in terms of ethnicity, gender, age, legal risk, medical issues, mental health issues, and how open we were to each variable. After that she had a chunk of things to check off and review with us that is all for the licensing process. When she finished that, I'd run out of time & had to head back to work, which she said was no problem, as my sweetie could do the last couple of things & I didn't have to be present.

Right as I was leaving, I asked if she needed anything other than our profile & 2 copies, and if we'd be considered ready to have our profiles shared with interested birthparents. Well, nope, it turns out that we have to have our license from the state before she can do that ... which will take several weeks, once we've passed the inspection.

Well, when I got back home, it turned out that we did not pass the inspection!!! She tested our hot water temperature & it was 130 degrees F, and it has to be set to 115F or lower, which really just is a matter of us turning the dial down, but she couldn't sign off on that. It also turns out that even though we have 2 smoke detectors & 2 carbon monoxide detectors, we have to have 3 smoke detectors. Since our house is a split level, each level has to have its own detector! So, we failed that, too. This is also fixable, we just have to go buy another one & install it!

So, we now have 3 more time lags -- one to test our hot water heater has adjusted low enough & to install the smoke detector, one more lag if we can't get this all done by tomorrow, because if I can't email her by Friday, she won't get the info until next Tuesday, which I suspect will contribute to the 3rd time lag, waiting for the state to issue our license.

I'm feeling disappointed & frustrated right now, but the truth is that we have cleared another important hurdle. And she did indicate that our two fixes can simply be communicated to her -- she doesn't need to come back out to the house to see that they're actually instituted. Thank goodness, 'cause that would be another significant delay. So, some ups, some downs!


Sara said...

What a nightmare. It really makes you wonder where the fairness is especially because anyone can have a 100 kids without getting an inspection but got forbid you want to adopt. Seriously- this sounds a little kooky! I really hope that youc an cross these hurdles quickly because you obviously want children and it's a shame to put these roadblocks. I've always said people should have to have a license to have babies- especially when you have to have one to adopt! Good luck!!!

kaj said...

I can understand the fire detector thing, but come on about the hot water. Just turn the little knob. Duh! Some of it seems so silly, but I guess there must be reasons for each tick off the list. Sounds like it's just technicality things and that you should keep sailing. I am glad you posted this because I have been thinking about you all afternoon.

Chiara said...

oh wow sorry about the delay hopefully it will be quick. I understand the concern about it all but testing the water temp okay that is a new one and she couldn't wait a few minutes for you all to adjust it and sign it off it isn't like you need to have anyone come in to do that.

crazierinreallife said...

OK, as someone whose primary work focus and safe and sanitary housing even I don't understand just waiting for Ken to turn down the water temp. Thankfully you just need to communicate the fixes to her and not was for a re-inspection.

Kat said...

So sorry to hear about the delay. These inspections really sound very hard. Can understand that they have to be nitpickety but not THAT much surely? Suspect there must have been bad experiences in the past where the adoption already went through, and that's why they add to the tick list?
Agree with Chiara - she could have waited until you adjusted the water temp to sign off on it.

Keeping my fingers crossed that you get the adjustments done quickly and can e-mail her by Friday.

Dalovely Damanda said...

Well, I'm glad the swords went over without a hitch! ;) I'm sorry it didn't go better as you'd hoped. BUT, it seems like minor details that need to be corrected...and you are still on the right road heading forward! Thinking of you guys and sending happy thoughtS! :)

Kamie said...

Oh gosh, Susanne, I'm so sorry!!

The water heater seems insane... you could have easily have turned it down for her visit and turned it back up even!! Blah to her.

The smoke detector thing is sort of uderstandable. We have 4 in our house and it's four levels. And one CO detector. Glad to hear that this morning, things are almost all ready for the email to her (that's a plus, that you can just email her).

Sorry again, hugs!

Mariangeles M said...

Sorry to hear that!

Good luck on the next steps!


Sara said...

God! What a bunch of bullshit! I mean does it not matter that there are a lot of little children needing a good home...

Obviously you care cause you have 2 smoke detectors and 2 of those other things...I just don't understand the hoops people have to go through..

That's why I got pregnant and had my own - when they wanted me to go through a zillion hoops 33 years ago - and I was single.

jacquie said...

Oh my! Amazing! and frustrating as you said. Although, glad to hear that you can call in the fixes. Keep moving forward :)

Mel said...


Simple, fixable things. And no need for a return visit and having to do that wait!


Anonymous said...

Wow! You are going through alot latharia! I know everything will turn out wonderfully! Patience. It is long and hard...but, very rewarding. Lots of love!

kimz said...

Awww... sorry you've had such a hard time of it. :S