Monday, February 14, 2011

I swear, I'm trying.

I really am. I'm trying to be positive, but man ... the hits just keep on coming.

We had a pretty decent weekend. I spent some time with friends, which was a great recharge to my soul. And with one exception, I ate wonderfully nutritious & healthy meals. And got in some exercise on both days.

Yesterday afternoon, I noted it was suddenly especially cold in the master bathroom ... because there is a 1 1/2" hole smashed through the glass in the window.

We received the video camera from the national adoption agency, along with instructions that are pretty much useless because they've apparently cut and pasted from other documents. No proofreading was done here, I can assure you. Or if there was, their proofreader should be shot for dereliction of duty and then fired. Not to mention that we are absolutely not at our best, and that we don't really like being caught on video, and that we have little time, and a whole host of other things about this project we dislike. Suffice to say, it's a chore, not fun.

So, I got shorted on sleep last night, because we read over all the criteria for the multiple interviews & shots & stuff for the video. So, now I've been shorted on sleep for maybe 4 days in a row?

And I get a call from Ken this morning ... his maternal grandma died a few hours ago.

I mean ... come ON!!!!!! I am trying to be positive here, but every time I manage to dig my way out, another brick gets tossed on my head.

Best thing about today so far: fresh strawberries. Because, yeah, I weighed myself and my weight is continuing to climb. Not fair. Not fair, notfair,NOTFAIR.

Strawberries are mighty tasty, though. And today is Valentine's Day. And I'm going out to dinner with my honey. And he's making me some kind of special dessert.

It will get better. It will. It just HAS to.


scrapperjen said...

HUGS!!!!!!!! It's gotta get better!

Enjoy your dinner and an evening with your sweetheart.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Janelle said...

Hang in there, sweetie. (I know, I know--one of THE most useless things to say to anyone!) Still praying for you.

Mel said...

Oh dearheart-- I'm so sorry about Ken's grandmother. No time is a good time to deal in that sort of loss. My sympathies go to him and the family--no doubt a difficult thing to have to deal in.

It doesn't feel very encouraging to hear 'hang in there'--'this too shall pass' and all those things that I have being said to me.

Row. Pray and ROW the darn boat.
Hope in the lottery ticket--and do whatcha gotta to make the house payment......cuz......
And remember this isn't a solo flight. Seriously. I gotta believe there are people around you that are for you--who'll help you if you just LET them. (I suck at it too, I know...I really DO hear myself every time I say "I'll figure it out.....") (Darn that I do hear myself!)

LET them.
Rest when weary.
LET someone else do the filming. Give yourself a break. Step away from critiquing everything that comes our(yes, I'm just as guilty and I DO hear ME)/your way as validation that the deities are not in your favor. Keep a broader perspective--count right things, cuz those are happening, too. They're just muddied up by the speed bumps that you're experiencing.

You and I both need to breathe a bit. A bit of centering on where our passion is, what our heart says--the GOOD around us that we're failing to see. *sigh*
I know--difficult when the shizzola is hitting the fan over and over and over again.

PRAY and row the boat. And keep your eyes on the stars, not on every passing ship.

I'm thinking that's a good thing.
I'm also thinking I need to pull out that FAITH necklace that reminds me why I do what I do.
I hope you have some reminder you can carry......and that you let it carry YOU right now.

((((((((((((( You )))))))))))))))