Saturday, February 12, 2011
My honey & I agree: the last 6 weeks has just been unbelievably brutal. We've endured a LOT. both of us are stretched paper-thin. We are vigorously pursuing friendship-time and couple-time, because it is just vital. We've had a couple more rounds of "the birthmother has chosen another family," which is just heartbreaking. We also had our required bi-annual home inspection, done for the 5th time, which means we've been approved-and-waiting for exactly 2 years. The adoption process is an enormous strain. Our best coping skills are handicapped as we try to rustle up more cash, working longer hours, and not planning vacations. We contemplate freeing up some money to be able to travel, but we cannot really savor the anticipation (or use it to hang hopes on), because it might be canceled suddenly. I started gathering little outfits for Future Baby, but it aches to do that because there's no one to wear them. Well-intended folk are now no longer saying "hang in there, we had friends adopt and it took them just over a year -- surely any day now..." and they have started saying "I know someone who took 5 years to adopt, but she's so happy." If this is where we are at 2 years, I cannot even begin to envision 5. We're trying to be positive, and we're doing our best to support each other, and we're gathering some awesome support from friends ... but I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel almost every day. Soon, we'll need to start recording video for the national agency to put online ... and I have to say I'm distinctly unthrilled, because I'm probably at my worst. Lowest energy, highest weight, worst attitude. Calgon, take me away.